25 ITEMS EDITED OUT OF "FEAR"

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To avoid litigation, Bob Woodward’s publisher edited out a few things about Trump.   The Hollywood Rage Page was able to get a copy.

1. Trump believes that he is a direct descendant of Monopoly’s Rich Uncle Pennybags and likes to start his day wearing a morning suit, bow tie, top hat, and vest while searching for green clover marshmallows in his Lucky Charms which are redeemable for a special good boy prize.
2. When he was in high school he took shop class because he thought it included day trips to Lord and Taylor.
3. For the entire run of the series, Trump thought Charlie’s Angels was about three dead girls.
4. Trump still thinks that 9-11 is where you go to buy Beef Jerky and Penthouse which is why he pumps his fists at memorials.
5. Growing up, the family used pet turtles as coasters and spent most of the time chasing their drinks.
6. To bring Melania to America he packed her in a steamer trunk which was held in customs for two months.
7. Don Jr’s favorite grooming item Is Crisco which he mistakenly believes was named after the ex-governor of New Jersey.
8. Trump prefers to sleep on two child-sized mattresses so he can brag that he slept with a pair of twins.
9. Trump thought that the show Frazier was about boxing.
10. Trump thinks that UPS is what postmen get when they have upset stomachs.
11. Trump thought that the film Pitch Black was about Satchel Paige,
12. Trump forced Ivanka to convert to Judaism so she could create as many defense lawyers as possible and at birth, he put them all on retainers.
13. Rosebud is Melania’s nickname for Trump’s penis.
14. Putin’s nickname for Trump is Donny Deutsche Bank.
15. Trump believes that Puerto Rico was a success because he has written off losses for his entire life,
16. Trump now refers to the Supreme Court as “The Brett Pack.”
17. At first, Trump thought that Op-Ed and Jared were brothers.
18. During prayer meetings in the Oval Office Trump pretends that he is romping like a pony through a field of bosoms barefoot.
19. Trump thinks that the Declaration of Independence is the legal term for divorce.
20. Trump likes to crack his knuckles non-stop so it sounds like there is a fireplace going in the office
21. Trump named his daughter Tiffany because she was conceived during Breakfast. 
22. Jeff Foxworthy has been brought in to see if in fact, the president is as smart as a fifth grader.  Early signs point to no.
23. Trump enjoys the fact that both Trump Tower and the White House were built by people who did not get paid.
24. The only hurricanes that Trump fears are the ones that threaten the Golf of Mexico.
25. Behind closed doors, Trump refers to his press secretary as Sarah Huckleberry Hound and during press conferences stands up in his chair, wags his tush, makes paw hands and yelps like a chihuahua.

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