THE HOLLYWOOD RAGE PAGE

STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS LEAKED! HUffington Post 01/29/17 Written By David S. Simon I was able to acquire a copy of the upcoming speech. Here it is: Madame President, Vice Personal Pence, Ivanka, Jared, Eric, Don Jr, the one invited African American guy up there, happy bankers, rich guys from Goldmine Sex, the two porn actresses that I wanted to party with, the good people of Puerto Rico who will not be hearing this speech thanks to my astonishing lack of response, so they have no electricity but who needs it, right? It’s Puerto Rico. Home of the Sharks who killed the white guy in West Side Story which, can I say that was wrong? Is that allowed? Oh. Shit. I forgot Melania and my other son both of who I call the First Lady and the Trump especially when I am eating spaghetti. Barron, look at daddy. No here. Not over there. To the right. To the right. Now down. Not up. Down. Hellew? Would it kill you to not look like me at a briefing? We share that look. Right? Doesn’t he

THE STATE OF THE UNION 01/31/18 Written By David S. Simon It’s a new morning in America! Oh. No. It has nothing whatsoever to do with last night’s State of the Union address.  It’s just a point of fact.   It’s a literally a new day. And yet absolutely nothing is different. You see, we have been married to Trump for a year now and from the first day on, we immediately realized what we had gotten ourselves into and we are all crying on the phone to our imaginary mothers. And in many ways we were wrong. It has been far worse than we have imagined. Last night, we were all inner raging, steel-eyed  FLOTUS.   Foreign Policy has been replaced by Porn Policy and last night we were all dragged to our seats, just like she was (after arriving without him) and the best we could do, again like her, was put on a game face while our mutual national intestines formed into a rather intricate pretzel. Now I have to admit my truth: I did not watch a second