Who’s On First 2024

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So, who is coming to our party?

They are.

Who is?

They.

Who is they?

(HOLDING UP A PICTURE OF A WOMAN)

Her.

Oh.  So she is coming.

No.  They are.

Wait. Is that person coming to the party?

Yes.

So she is coming.

No.

But you just said she is.

I didn’t say anything of the kind.

Is that person coming to our party?

Absolutely.

But she isn’t.

There you go.

I have no idea what I’m talking about!

Okay, what is that woman’s name?

Susan.

And Susan is coming.

Right.

When will she get here?

She won’t.

What?

I told you she is not coming.

I am losing my mind. Okay,  is Susan bringing someone?

Sure.

Who?

Paul.

Who is he?

Who is who?

He.

He doesn’t exist.

What?

He doesn’t exist.

He doesn’t exist.

There you go.

But he’s coming

Both of them will be here!

But she is not coming and neither is he.  

See how easy this is?  Look, let me make it easy.  Both Paul and 

Susan are Agender.

I would hope so.  Which one?

Which one what?

Which gender are they?

Nothing.

Wait. You just said that they are both a gender.

Correct.  Agender.

But they are nothing.

Exactly.  Both of them were gender questioning for years

Until they figured out what they both were.

Which is...

Neither one.

Neither one what?

Neither one are either one.

When Paul was born did the doctor say, ‘Congratulations it’s a boy? 

Of course.

And when Susan was born did the doctor says, Congratulations, it’s a girl?”

Of course.

And today does he shop in the men’s department?

Of course not.

He doesn’t wear men’s clothes?

I told you, he doesn’t exist!

And what about her?   Where does she shop?

She doesn’t.

But they do.

All the time.  I don’t what is so hard to understand. 

 It’s really quite simple.

 Today people are either gay, straight, bisexual, gender fluid,  gender questioning, gender nonconformist, gender variant, gender queer, non-binary, intersex,  MTF, Neutrois, CIs, pan or trans.

I am so confused.

Well they are trying not to be.

Okay. I’m done.  I have to go the bathroom.

Which one?

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