TRUMP'S ITINERARY
1. Wake up. Cymbals from National Symphony Orchestra and oversized Buddhist gong required 2. Two hours with D.C. Beautician Mr. Suzanne for Cinnabon hair swirling, melted Crayola make up application and girdle fitting. 3. Pick breakfast in cereal room 4. Fill suit pockets with Cocoa Pebbles 5. Pick pill from Adderall smiley face built on the oval office desk. 6. Build Diet Coke can castle with yesterday's empties. 7. Play bowling game using leftover cans as pins 8. Watch nude underage cage match tape from Thailand while not listening to the daily security report. 9. Meeting with Stephen Miller with a German translator 10. Pardon Aunt Becky 11. Receive telepathic messages from Sean Hannity wearing an aluminum foil hat. 12. Alone time with Steve Mnuchin's wife 13. Executive Time with cocaine pudding snacks and redaction reading time with Bill Barr. 14. Colonic administered by either Lindsay Graham or Devon Nun...