The Ache of the Empty Fairground
I speak to my mom every day
When we connect
the fragrance of memory arrives
like prairie storm clouds
filled with
A dab of Chanel
and finger-painted lotions
which were applied
to the taut skin canvas
of pale white legs
and shy ankles.
And there are sounds
which are light years away:
the rapture of records
the duet of parakeets
the side show of television
the unbreakable code of Yiddish.
Just a word or two
and I am back in our tiny apartment castle
where the Queen
wore a thorny crown of rollers
and the armor of a girdle
while the King pulled his dreams
like a plow horse
in the field of the family.
We talk
my mom and I
covering the vast territory
of nothing and everything
I ask her about dad,
how he’s doing
because I know that he’s listening from
behind the citadel of
a snap-opened newspaper
where he spent most of his life hiding
behind the headlines.
And in the end,
when it’s time to go
which always feels like the sadness of
the late afternoon playground
I always say
that I miss her
which I have for years now
Since the day that she died
and disappeared
with the traveling circus of parents
who overnight
pulled up stakes,
folded their tents,
and without fanfare or notice
silently boarded the train
leaving behind
the ache of the empty fairground
where today
millions of orphaned dandelions
stare at the sky
like children who
hold their breath
and watch the acrobats
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