THE HOLLYWOOD RAGE PAGE

Last night at the Washington Correspondence dinner host Michelle Wolf huffed and puffed her way through a comedy routine which has caused quite the controversial stir for going way over the line. Being primarily an often blustery comedy writer myself, I feel an obligation to weigh in on this. For the last two years, day in, day out, we have been continually subjected to torrents of annotated and collected lies and insults by an illiterate, unbearably incapable, sexually abusive, loathsome human being in President’s clothes who boasts law-suits with red ties to Russia as part of his daily wardrobe.   Because of him, America is as fractured and filled with prejudice and hate as it was during the Jim Crow period.   Because of him Neo-Nazis have a platform and get to parade as freely and openly as the boy scouts—who he also offended.   Because of him. Native American Indians have been publicly humiliated and had their holy land disgraced.   Becau...

The Hollywood Rage Page was able to access a few taped conversations between Attorney/Fixer Michael Cohen and Trump.   Here are a few excerpts: DT:   Mike? MC: Jesus, what the hell time is it? DT:   Can you get me a monkey? MC:   What? DT:   I always wanted one.   Presidents always have pets.   I want a monkey.   I’m going to call him Dr. Lawrence M. Sapperstein.   I think I’ll make him an ophthalmologist. MC:   Uh. Okay.   I’ll take care of it. Goodnight, Mr... DT:     With a wardrobe.   Of little suits. Same as I wear.   So Dr. Sapperstein and I can walk the grounds together like he’s important.   Do they have to wear diapers?   You know I wear them overnight but they look like underpants.   If they didn’t make noise when you walk, no one would know. MC:   Donald... DT:   Oh...a few things that need fixing.   MC:   Like what? DT:   My ...

The new novel co-authored by Bill Clinton and James Paterson is about to be released and here is an exclusive excerpt. THE PRESIDENT IS MISSING…. Talent intelligence empathy vision sensitivity an attention span experience boundaries morals values alibis that will hold up in the Mueller investigation the sense to pretend that Putin is his enemy the popular vote a legitimate military deferment billions of dollars a reason why he should ever have appeared on the Forbes 400 list a successful career in construction perfect health thanks to incredible genetics curiosity that isn’t pornographic proof of payment to day laborers who he cheated a legitimate University that didn’t scam the innocent common sense, like not saying to Lester Holt on national television, before an audience of millions, that you fired James Comey because of Trump and this whole Rusher thing.   Or throwing paper towels to Puerto Rico hurricane victims. ...

There are some incredible similarities between Donald Trump and Marilyn Monroe, the most obvious being that they are both dumb blondes who went down in the White House. But Donald has starred in many similar films.   Here is the TCM listing of a few of them. HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE:   A money-hungry East European soft porn immigrant squints her way to success when she betroths a fake billionaire who convinces her that he is great at everything until she learns the truth and leaves him for a genuine success, lawyer Steven Avenatti. THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH:   A President’s insane behavior is found to be the result of a long bout of undiagnosed Gonorrhea.   SOME LIKE IT HOT:   A sitting president is burned alive in a tanning bed.   A sitting Vice President makes a brief appearance in wig and dress. GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES:   Southern Gentlemen with an unnatural attachment to lethal military grade child killing weapons, fin...

                                             You want to date You don’t want to date Your kids want you to date… Your kids do not want you to date You hate your ex You love your ex Your life is your own Your life is never your own The minute you have a date your ex wife calls within five minutes with plans that include you. Your new girlfriend is exactly like your wife Your next girlfriend is nothing like your wife. Your ex wife is totally independent and does not need you. She always needs money. She tells you that you are generous. She tells you that you are cheap. Her friends love you. His friends hate you. Your kids take over your life. You never see them. You are alone on Thanksgiving and it feels sad. You are all together on Christmas and it feels sad. You have a tense dinner together and you c...