GREEN ACRES, D.C.

One year into his presidency,  I’ve suddenly realized that POTUS and FLOTUS are Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor in “Green Acres.”  Fittingly, Eva was also the voice of “”Duchess” in “The Aristocats.”  When she speaks she is also Andy Kaufman, lip-synching “here I come to save the day!”

They are also the Capital Hillbillies.

Best of all like those classic  Hee-Haw worthy American comedies, they will eventually be canceled.

You can only allow the Russians to do whatever they want, whenever they want for so long.

It’s moments like this when I think of the McCarthy years.  The lives that we allowed to be destroyed.

And now here we are with a U.S. President who fondles the Soviets like women who are backed into the corner of a Trump Tower bathroom.

You have to believe that the most honest guy in the world is Christopher Steele.

Clips of recent programs in Russia that have been airing recently have featured hosts who not only mock Trump but gloat about how they own him now.  

The Soviet intelligence community which by trade tends to take the silent approach has loudly celebrated its achievements,  plying themselves with champagne, toasting each other over their domination over us. 

Even Jacques Clouseau of Pink Panther fame could figure out that all the meetings with the Russians (even after the FBI warned both the Clinton and Trump teams during the election) and all the dirty Russian mob money leads from all direction directly to Trump.

Trump has spent a lifetime lawyering up and out of every offense that he has ever been accused of.  He has settled one lawsuit after another and gone on to cheat another day.  In fact, the number one item in the Trump Line is a double-breasted law suit.

The difference now is that this year’s fashion is checks and balances and best of all the offenses include his next of thieving children.  Ultimately, just like Mike Flynn, Trump will have to fold when they go after his kids.  Jared Kushner tried to lie his way out of the hearing and as of today, he is one step out the door.

During the Obama years, it was like we had PBS in the White House.

We were progressive. Liberal. We broke the color barrier, had a brilliant, articulate leader.  We had a techno-nerd for a Vice President who also cared deeply for the health of the planet.

We had a hot looking totally groovy and fun FLOTUS who was just a smart and witty as her mate.

The VP’s wife was a physician.  I can’t even tell you Mike Pence’s wife’s name.   I think it’s “Beard.”

We had normal children who were being taught how to become exceptional.

We had cool concerts in the White House.  We had a president who was man enough to shed tears.  

We had idealism. Literacy.  The world gave us great ratings.

But the signs of things to come were immediately in place.  From day one Mitch McConnell declared open season on Obama.  The blatantly racist intent was to stop him at every single turn.

And while they obstructed progress and kept the flame of hatred alive, so did the South, so did Bill O’Reilly, so did Rush Limbaugh, so did Alex Jones.

In September 2009, Joe Wilson received international attention when he interrupted a speech by U.S. President Barack Obama to the joint session of Congress by shouting “You lie!”. The incident resulted in a reprimand by the House of Representatives. 

Wilson was re-elected in 2010 by 9 percentage points over his closest rival.

We had our head in the clouds which was justifiable, having just suffered the worst President in centuries, who faked intel to get us into Iraq and typical of the GOP plunged us into the worst economic disaster since the stock market crash of 1929.

That president, who was famously mocked by the now prescient Dixie Chicks (who received death threats for speaking like real Americans), was just an ongoing clown and we all counted the days till he was ejected from the Main Tent.

But pure hate was tormenting in the cheap seats.  President Obama had a Muslim-like name, he was black. He didn’t look or sound like anyone’s spittoon spittin’ neighbor.

He was effete.  Elite.

He wasn’t one of them.

The DNC, which to me always sounds like an OBGYN procedure, simply did not and to this day, does not get it.

They tend to be erudite. Philosophical.  They believe (insert gagging here) in fair play. Decency.  They follow the rules.  They believe in and fight for the little guy.  They create programs to help the disadvantaged.  They advocate same-sex marriage and universal healthcare.

Well the GOP will never have that. That is antithetical to everything that they stand for.

The way to take on the wimpy Democrats is to play dirty, stage literal witch hunts like the Benghazi hearings, defy, deceive, destroy.

Unlike the Democrats,  Not So PC Barnum had a brand to sell: him.

He recalibrated his image to make it look like the Emperor was not only wearing clothes but Osh Gosh overalls.  Just like the ones the coal miners and the proud owners of AR-15s fancied.

You see, you can tell a book by its cover.  Just take a look at the cover of “The Art of the Deal.”  There he is, grinning like the overstuffed orangutan that he is, with his NAME listed as the author.

It’s all image and nothing else. As the publisher and the ghostwriter, TONY SCHWARTZ, will attest, Trump’s attention span was so limited that the book had to be totally made up.  Trump did not write one single word of it.

And yet to this day he takes the lying’s share of credit.

On the eve of its publication, Trump, who was so enamored by the book that he had “written,”threw himself a huge, champagne- flowing self-congratulatory party.

And then he sent 50% of the bill to Mr. Schwartz.

While “Fire and Fury” was a fine you are there document, none of us were shocked by it because Don Corleone Trump and his three staggeringly unctuous,  selfish kids, Connie, Fredo and Fredo don’t even pretend to be charitable or altruistic.  They are greedy street animals who, like their father, treat the world like door to door vacuum salesmen.   

They just suck up what they can wherever they go.

And you are paying for all their global hopping business trips as they skip around the world selling real estate like and pretend to offer the good life, while daddy golfs like he did at Mar A Lago the day that just a few miles away, a Parkland student was being buried.  Or as I call it, six feet under age.

And that is perfectly fine with his base, because, even though it has been the GOP who has raped and pillaged and made sure that the everyday guy gets less than nothing,  the likes of Fox has continually misinformed them as to who the real, actual enemy is.

And that’s how you get things done, here in America.  Fox and Sarah Huckabee hound just help spread their own self-made manure day after day after day.

Are you listening Ms. Pelosi?

The most fascinating thing about Trump is that he is not only a terrible liar, but he is terrible at cover-ups.  He can’t even cover up his face or his bald spots believably.

He tells us what he “thinks” without fear of recourse and that is because he is simply not human.  During his “listening” session with the survivors of Parkland, he held tight to a card of bullet points that were specifically written to instruct him what to do and say.  The bottom line read, “I hear you.”

Had they not written that it never would have occurred to him.

Next up is President Caligula Nero’s military parade,  which, again, you will be paying for.

And it will cost millions.

This from a man who is about to cut your Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security in order to pay for the colossal debt that will be incurred by his “incredible tax plan.”

From his arm folded, smug, scowling alone, he has long reminded me of Mussolini and now El Douche is about to become even more like him.

And for what possible reason?

Today Dicks sports stores announced that they are no longer going to be selling AR-15s because the gunman bought a weapon at their store and they have finally had enough.

It takes a Dicks to out president a little dick.

And your president’s solution to the gun madness?  More guns.  

Arm teachers. All 700,000 of them.  I don’t know you but I’ve had my share of crazy ass teachers.  Picture one of them, who hates your guts, with a Glock in their pocket

Do you see how far we’ve strayed since Obama?  And all this in a little over a year.

Virtually the first thing that Trump did as President was to sign a bill that made it easier for the mentally ill to buy weapons.

And that was because the NRA contributed 30 million rubles to his campaign.  They launder money too.  What a great organization.

Are you infuriated yet?

Have you had enough?

Good.

The best news is that women, who Trump has long abused, are coming after him.

And so are the nice, normal kids who no longer want to go to school fearing for their lives.

It’s the Titanic in reverse, folks.

Women and children first are boarding the sinking ship and they are booting off the fat cat men.

It’s just the beginning.

Just like during the Obama years,  a fast-growing movement, a powerful groundswell is forming.

Intelligence is brewing.

Honesty is brewing.

Compassion is brewing.

Activism is brewing.

Feminism 2.0 is brewing.

The righteous anger of our youth is brewing.

The indictments of Bob Mueller are brewing.

Change is not just blowing in the wind.   It is coming at Washington like the natural event storm that it is.

It is time to rise up, clench your fists and show the world that Green Acres is not the place to be.