TRUMPLAND: THE NEW LACK OF AMUSEMENT PARK

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Move over Disneyland, the number one tourist attraction in America is officially the barely year-old  Trumpland which guarantees thrills and confusion with more bewilderment than amusement.

Here is a list of just some of the attractions:

HALL OF PRESIDENTS:  Get ready for a parade of animatronic Presidents shown in their natural habitats!  There’s Washington crossing the Delaware!  See Lincoln delivering his Gettysburg Address!  FDR delivering his wartime fireside chat!  See Trump playing golf while a bullet mutilated student from Parkland is buried just a few miles away!  See him getting spanked by a Forbes Magazine by a porn star, having his hair bleached with all the other seniors at the Boca Raton salon, Blonde Ambition, followed by him skipping blithely naked through a car wash as he is bombarded with a tanning solution that makes him look like the landlady in “Something About Mary.” 

THE HAUNTED HOUSE:  Like the Louvre, you can’t possibly see it all in a day!  See cabinet members turn to ghosts as one by one they disappear!  See inanimate objects like Jeff Sessions dance to the pleasure of the president like Lumiere of Beauty and the Beast fame.  See Sarah Huckabee Sanders.  That’s it.  Just see Sarah Huckabee Sanders.  See Melania’s life unfolding before her horrified, squinting eyes!  See Don Jr. prepare for his day, slathering Crisco on 98% of his body.  See Jared Kushner rape and pillage his way through a Manhattan acting like a swag grabbing star on Oscar night!  Hear virtually all of Trump’s speeches until you just can’t take it anymore!  See John Bolton pound on hotel doors, screaming like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”—armed with nuclear weapons!  See Anthony Scaramucci threaten you like a Mafia thug!   See Neo-Nazis goose step with the precision of the Rockettes, spewing hate at Jews, Blacks and Mexicans, while Trump claps merrily as if he’s watching the antics of Big Apple Circus performer and woman abuser, Grandma the clown.  See Betsy DeVoss try to deliver a coherent thought!  Try to see Ben Carson try to justify his spending $30,000 for dining room furniture of his office!  See previously banned toxic chemicals be poured back into our waters!  See Trump insults Native American Idiots!  See Trump buddy, Laura Ingraham mock a 17-year-old Parkland mass murder survivor! See Rick Santorum tell Parkland kids to, instead of trying to pass phony gun laws, take CPR instead!  See the video of the heads of Cambridge Analytica (which sounds like another Trump porn date) who were hired by failed screenwriter Steve Bannon (Head of Willing Idiot Productions) as they show us how they blatantly  hacked 50 million Facebook profiles, figured out what Trump catchphrases that the Trump base would react to (like "Make America Great Again!")and then turn the info, Julien Assange style, to the Soviets,  See Roseanne Barr return from the dead so that Trump can take credit for the success of her show! See Trump and anyone connected to the Soviet Union, in tux, top hat and cane, performing the song, “Putin’ on The Ritz” from The Producers—which, like the current presidency, was all about selling a failure to willing idiots. only to have the scheme backfire, by their winning instead of losing, which,  in the end, sends the guys behind the plot to a nice, long stretch in prison. 

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN:    See offshore accounts get stashed and dirty money laundered in the beautiful Caribbean instead of the President paying taxes!  Hear the new song, The Pirates of Pence/Ass” featuring oiled up chorus boys who the Vice President publicly condemns, and sends to homosexual conversion therapy, while behind closed doors he cross-dresses and sips pinkies up tea, wearing a sparkly princess crown, tapping a Jimmy Choo stiletto and swirling his pearls to George Michael’s “Faith.”

THE CAROUSEL:   The press gets this merry go round as Trump talks circles around them, while insulting them from his high horse.  

THE HOLY ROLLER COASTER:  Watch evangelical leaders hop on this ride, pretending that Trump is one of them, simply because he delivers their anti-abortion rhetoric.  But look out!   The sign at this ride reads, “ WARNING! Children who are born, thanks to our right to life position, born, are in danger of having all their assistance (as in medical and warm lunch programs) cut and/or being killed by military-grade weapons which we personally sanction!  Have a good ride!

SPACE MOUNTAIN OF EVIDENCE:   It’s Bob Mueller time as his investigation closes in on Trump!   See obstruction!  See collusion! See his base support Trump because Sean Hannity has convinced them that he is the target of a witch hunt, when all liberals can think of his “witch one is guilty?”

IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL:  Personal reflections by Stormy Daniels,  ex-playmate Karen McDougal, and every other Trump abused woman who have had greatness thrust upon them.

HOUSE OF MIRRORS:  A floor to ceiling recreation of Trump Tower and Mar-A-Lago where accomplishments and souls are a lot smaller than they appear.

THE LET THEM EAT CAKE REFRESHMENT STAND!   Run by the Trump kids!  Have Breakfast with Tiffany!  Meet Melania's favoirte President, Jimmy Cartier.

THE NEW STAR WARS RIDE:  A look into the future as we see the inevitable Trump divorce wars!  Since no lawyer will represent  Trump, other than Alan Dershowitz’s second cousin, the in-bred Earl, who just graduated from, unfortunately, Trump University, see Trump lose that popular vote too.

MAIN STREET:  See all the stores shutter as the once again the GOP theory of trickle- down economics fails.  See the unemployment line snake down the street!

THE PARADE:  See Trump, in full military dress, reign on his parade!  It’s a show of farce, as Trump gives tanks to himself!   See even more families below the poverty line not get rescued because 30 million dollars were spent on this meaningless spectacle!  And for sport: see if you can find Trump's military past!

THE WALL:   Still under pre-ground break construction.   The current thought is that instead of a wall a 1500 mile long Borders bookstore should be built, which only sells copies of The Art of the Deal, guaranteeing that no one will come near it.

#Roseanne
# Trump
# Mueller
# Pence


  

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