THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR TRUMP: A GREAT LAUGH FOR NORWEGIANS EVERYWHERE!

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Here are just a few of the people who have won the Nobel Peace Prize:

Juan Manuel Santos
The Tunisian National Dialogue Quartet
Kailash Satyarhi
Malala Yousafzai
Tawakkol Karman
Ellen Johnson SIrleaf
Leymah Gbowee
LIu Xiaobo


What do they all have in common?   None of them would be invited to chow down on caviar or sip champagne at the Caucasian campus at Mar-A-Lago and there is a very good chance, given that they would be considered immigrants, that they would not be welcomed here by either Trump or his clown posse of racist followers.  One more to mention: Barack Obama. President Obama won the prize within the first few months of his presidency.  Oh. He won the popular vote too.

Just when you thought that the GOP could not aim lower, a  group of them have nominated Trump for the Peace Prize.

 This for a man whose entire North Korean diplomacy was based on his calling their volatile nuclear-armed leader “little rocket man.”  Gandhi must be shitting a cow.

Since there is no way in hell, that he will even be considered (I can hear those Norwegians laughing  just like me when I was five and watching a Jerry Lewis movie) and knowing how much Trump craves attention, I have decided to nominate him for a few awards just so that he won’t feel left out.

THE NO-BILL PRIZE: Given to an American President who refuses to pay his bills or the salaries of day laborers which is awarded annually by the board of trustees of Trump University.  Runner-up candidates get to pose with a cardboard cutout of the President.

THE STORMY:   Given to an American President for having someone other than Colin Kaepernick take a knee.

THE TOM HADEN AWARD:    Given to an American President who requires the talents of a consigliere/fixer who is capable of tucking in a decapitated horse head beneath someone’s duvet cover as an example of making an offer that cannot be refused. 

ATHLETE OF THE YEAR:  Given to an American President who excels on an Olympic level in water sports.

THE ETHEL:  Given to an American President who, along with his malevolent, thieving children, shows the very same character and level of compassion as Roy Cohn.

HUSBAND OF THE YEAR:  Given to an American President who first has wife pose sprawled nude on a bear skin rug aboard a private jet, shows them to the public and then later tries to pass her off as a legitimate First Lady.  

THE NATIVE AMERICAN MAN OF THE YEAR:  Given to an American President who insults Native American war heroes by referring to a U.S. Senator as ‘Pocahontas.” 

THE D.O.J.’S MAN OF THE YEAR:  Given to an American President who admits on national television that he fired the man who was investigating him for obstruction of justice because of Trump and the “Rusher” thing, thereby proving that he obstructs justice.

THE BOB MUELLER AWARD:  Given to an American President who, instead of being totally transparent in an effort to exonerate himself, chooses instead to attack and destroy his accuser, a decorated war hero, and Republican who is doing nothing more than collecting irrefutable evidence.

WOMAN OF THE YEAR:  Given to an American President who spends more time doing his hair and makeup than any First Lady before him.

THE FASCIST MAN ALIVE:  Given to an American President who supports the rights of Neo-Nazi demonstrators who murder innocent women with their cars.  

THE MICHELLE WOLFIE:  A special purple heart with a deeply disturbing drooping eye is awarded to a  cowardly, no-show American President (who hides behind the girl skirt of a far away rally) while his press secretary, who flagrantly lies to the American public day after day, has her face shoved into the truth at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner.

THE NRA’S MAN OF THE YEAR:   For doing absolutely nothing following the mass murder of high school children while pretending to mock the power of the NRA (which funneled 30 million Soviet dollars into his campaign) and then meeting with them within hours,  so that they can remind him that they own him like a Civil War slave.

THE SIBLING RIFLERY AWARD:  Given to an American President and his two sons who pose triumphantly by the still warm remains of innocent, killed for sport, animals on the grounds of a five star Serengeti as they joyfully wave severed tails over their heads like ISIS flags.

EMPLOYER OF THE YEAR:   Given to an American President who pathologically abuses and then fires every single person who works for him in record numbers.  A special citation is also awarded for hiring John Bolton, a proven psychopath, to become National Security Advisor.

THE TANNING BED ASSOCIATION MAN OF THE YEAR:  For being the second American President in a row who is a man of color.

FOX AND FRIENDS MAN OF THE YEAR:   Given to an American President who not only believes all the bullshit that they say but actually repeats it.  A special citation is given for creating and spreading fake news, which is always based on totally made up, evidence-free conspiracy theories because if the movie Network has taught us anything,  it’s that anything that is said on TV can and will be taken as the gospel truth by millions of illiterate morons who need to be told what to believe in. 

CHRISTIAN MAN OF THE YEAR:   Given to an American President who has been forgiven over and over again for the simple reason that he is against abortion, despite the fact that he has personally paid for the death of no doubt dozens of little Trump fetuses.   A blue ribbon is awarded for pretending to be one of the boys doing prayer sessions.

THE BUSH AWARDS:  Given to an American President who grabs them, gets them fired and then has to endure public humiliation when he is not invited to the funeral of the matriarch.   A special bronze medal is given for his having to watch his wife coo, giggle and shamelessly flirt with Barack Obama, who is better than him in every imaginable way.

THE GOP MAN OF THE YEAR:  Given to an American President for representing everything that they stand for. Greed. Misogyny. Flagrant racism.  The pandering of clueless white evangelicals.

Award season for this American President is year round, and I’m sure that Mr. Trump will be up for many more awards.

He may think that he is getting away with murder.  That his actions are not being recognized.

But he would be wrong.

Every single minute of every single day, he is being judged.

And judgment day is coming.






























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