FIRST FEW MINUTES OF HELSINKI MEETING LEAKED!!

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Putin: Okay, little monkey, sit. Hands folded. Sit up. Now sing for me. With all the movements please.
Trump: (Singing) "I'm a little teacup, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout!"
Putin: Ha. Ha. You made my translator wet his bryuki.
Trump: I brought you a gift.
Putin: Springsteen on Broadway tickets?
Trump: Oh. No. A Bronx Tale.
Putin: Are you shitting me? Have you heard Chaz Palminteri sing? He sounds like my enemies after breathing in Novichok.
Trump: Novichok. I loved that show. That was Telly Savalas, right?
Putin: Are you ready to be hypnotized my little Manchurian candidate?
Trump: Oh. The last time you did that I made no sense at my rally.
Putin: We do that for fun. We kid. We have fun.
Trump: Are you going to help me with Mueller? He's got Michael Cohen's everything.
Putin: Donald. My little biatchnik. Do we not take good care for you? Do we not give you special magic Russian cream for man boobies? Do we not give you a year's supply of Russian dressing tan color? Do we not provide you with chest high golf pants with extra fanny stretch? Do we not provide with you with same hairdresser as funny American woman Phyllis Diller?
Trump: Well. Yes. It's a huge turn on for underage Washington escorts.
Putin: Who is daddy?
Trump: You are.
Putin: I can't hear you.
Trump: YOU ARE
Putin: Okay. Sleepytime.
Trump: Oh, okay. But what do I say about the meddling?
Putin: You will say I'm great guy. And you will continue to send fig newtons. I make more on the black market with those than Levis.
Trump: Personally, I like
Translator: Shhh. You are getting sleepy...very sleepy
Trump: Uh...uh...I cried at the end of Ocean's 8. Where was George Clooney? Where was he???
Translator: You are an asset of the Soviet Union. Is that right?
Trump: Yes. I am a puppet like Kookla, Fran and Ollie.
Translator: And you will do everything that we say, is that right?
Trump: Nyet.
Translator: That means no.
Trump: Oh. What is yes?
Translator: Da.
Trump : (singing) a female deer!
Translator: Wow.
Putin: You can't make this shit up.

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